Ok now dating as we get older is by no means an easy tasks, and its a little bit harder when you are trying to raise a child (ren)..... if they are not teenagers yet then i sympathize with you i really do, but I was very fortunate that I had my parents to babysit for me, but for most you have got to find someone that you trust or what not.
I have met men, on match.com, on eharmony, myspace, bars, through friends, and yes even at a grocery store, the one thing that i will say is meeting a man in a bar is not the best place to do so, they might have a great buzz, and be funny friendly and outgoing, but when they are sober they could be a total schmuck, so dont do that at all.
Here is my criteria that i think most people should seriously go by, trust me it will make sense to some of you, and im sure youll laugh but i swear this has all happened to me.
#1- if you are browsing the internet dating sites and you come across someone that you think you might be interested in, if the both of you start to talk make sure that there picture is current, dont be afraid to ask them, trust me its better to ask then to agree to meet for drinks or coffee and be thrown for a loop when you meet them face to face.....
I didnt do that once, the profile picture this guy had was a very nice picture, he said that he was 5'10 about 180 lbs..... i met him just for a quick drink, and when i seen him standing there waiting for me, i kid you not i wanted to keep driving without ever looking back, what he failed to mention is that he was not 180 lbs, he was about 350, his hair was not short and clean cut like in the pic, he was longer then mine and stragly all over, and he was missing almost off of his teeth.
#2-When i start to talk to someone that i have met on line i always have my standard questions that i ask some people think im wierd, but hey i do like to have an idea of what i might be getting into..
A- ask them if they have all of their teeth, if they have dentures ok fine, but you can actually tell alot about a person if they take care of their teeth, it means that they do care about oral hygiene, if they have like 90% of their teeth missing then move on, i mean do you really want to see someone sucking on their dinner to get it soft enough so they can gum it to death. lol
B-ask them if they have a job.... hey even if they work at mcdonalds something is better then nothing right? oh and collecting unemployment checks does not count either....im not a gold digger good lord knows that i am not, but its a good thing if they have a job.
C- ask if they have a police record ie.... have they ever been arrested for murder? rape? dui? drugs? oh and if they tell you no that they have never been in trouble with the law, trust me they are ways to find out the internet is a wonderful thing i swear it is... i once met a man on line that said he had this great job, and that he had never been in trouble with the law, well i checked him out online after our 3rd date, and let me tell you that man had a ciminal record a mile long..... drug charges, forgery that sort of thing, i dropped him really quick.
3- if they live at home with mommy and daddy at our age, dont even think about it!!!! do you have any idea what its like to spend the night at his or her house, and and in the morning you get up to take a shower and out of no where, you are asked by his/her parent if you are planning to stay for breakfast or even coffee, talk about embarrassing, this has happened to me and lets just say that i never went back there again. if they have roommates thats not so bad at least you hve a bit more privacy
Monday, January 4, 2010
dating 101 for the single parent
ya know its funny as i sit here and write this new blog which im sure no one will really read let alone acknowledge i sit here and think about all of the dating rules do's and dont's, for the single mom or dad that is raising kid (s) alone.
Its not easy to juggle working a full time job, raising a teenage son, (not to mention, cleaning house, making dinner and doing laundry.) but to also find some kind of time to date and have a social life, and attempt to find love or something like it.
Living in Hernando Co. Fl. there are not alot of good men to choose from, but then again where is the right place to have your pick of the litter? So living here for as long as I have I guess I have had to make the most of it, and not to mention attempting to date out side of this county.
I was married at 20 to the first person that i ever had sex with, and 11 months later i had a baby boy, when I was married, I felt like a single mom at the time, he wouldnt lift a finger to help out with anything, in regards to my son, so for reasons only known to the two of us we were divorce after about 2 years of marriage. I have no regrets after all I have a great son that is my life and my world.
Soon after I started to hang out with my girlfriends at bars and what not just having fun like any normal 21 year old would, but all the time in the back of my mind i would feel guilty about leaving my son at home with my parents.
Being a divorced woman wasnt so bad at the time, men didnt seem to mind that i had been married they just chalked it up to experience, lessons learned if you will, but man oh man as soon as they heard that I had a toddler at home, wow talk about a huge change in attitude lol.
Some men ran, some stayed and continued to talk, just to be nice i guess, and there were a very small select few that actually wanted to take me out on a date.
Well after 2 divorces the first one at 22 and the second one at about 25, i have managed to stay single since the last failed marriage..... oh and a word to the wise never meet someone in a bar and think that its going to be a lasting real relationship, trust me it does not work out and sometimes it does not end well either.
Well now I am the dreaded 36, getting pretty dam close to the BIG 40, and I am still playing this dating game.... seriously i thought as men and women got older they stopped playing the ridiculous mind games, and stopped being so petty about looks and apperances.... but i am always willing to admit that i am wrong and i am admitting it now lol.
Ok so now ill tell you what to look for, and all of the do's and dont's.... your in for one heckuva ride lol
Its not easy to juggle working a full time job, raising a teenage son, (not to mention, cleaning house, making dinner and doing laundry.) but to also find some kind of time to date and have a social life, and attempt to find love or something like it.
Living in Hernando Co. Fl. there are not alot of good men to choose from, but then again where is the right place to have your pick of the litter? So living here for as long as I have I guess I have had to make the most of it, and not to mention attempting to date out side of this county.
I was married at 20 to the first person that i ever had sex with, and 11 months later i had a baby boy, when I was married, I felt like a single mom at the time, he wouldnt lift a finger to help out with anything, in regards to my son, so for reasons only known to the two of us we were divorce after about 2 years of marriage. I have no regrets after all I have a great son that is my life and my world.
Soon after I started to hang out with my girlfriends at bars and what not just having fun like any normal 21 year old would, but all the time in the back of my mind i would feel guilty about leaving my son at home with my parents.
Being a divorced woman wasnt so bad at the time, men didnt seem to mind that i had been married they just chalked it up to experience, lessons learned if you will, but man oh man as soon as they heard that I had a toddler at home, wow talk about a huge change in attitude lol.
Some men ran, some stayed and continued to talk, just to be nice i guess, and there were a very small select few that actually wanted to take me out on a date.
Well after 2 divorces the first one at 22 and the second one at about 25, i have managed to stay single since the last failed marriage..... oh and a word to the wise never meet someone in a bar and think that its going to be a lasting real relationship, trust me it does not work out and sometimes it does not end well either.
Well now I am the dreaded 36, getting pretty dam close to the BIG 40, and I am still playing this dating game.... seriously i thought as men and women got older they stopped playing the ridiculous mind games, and stopped being so petty about looks and apperances.... but i am always willing to admit that i am wrong and i am admitting it now lol.
Ok so now ill tell you what to look for, and all of the do's and dont's.... your in for one heckuva ride lol
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